i-r-confused:

if being lazy was a job, I would probably be the richest person on earth

(Source: unfollovving, via asy-lumm)

do you ever just realize how bad your voice sounds

(Source: trinityglassfille, via rebel-wanderlust)

In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

(via banana312)

robotsatthedisco:

puppytierjade:

robotsatthedisco:

you can never lose an argument if you say “shut up nerd” at the end

yes you can

shut up nerd

(via daenerystargaryenfuckingsucks)

evaded:

If I text you first, you better appreciate that shit because I don’t do it for just anyone.

(via itsallinsideyourdamnhead)